hate the holidays. It ruins my routine. Routine is required to keep lampadiglobus from getting moody and crazy! Sadly I am dealing with yet another bout of moody that resembles my usual black chasm of inescapable despair. It is not as if I have any real reason to be unhappy. I have a roof over my head, my family is close by, and unlike many others I actually have more money this year than I have ever had before(due to the new job). I just feel like this outcast sometimes. Like I don't quite fit in anywhere. Like there is no place for me. I feel like I am barely alive.